Is this what the world is like now? Is this the new normal?
M.J. Edward’s third book is finally here, the sequel to Kissing the Coronavirus. And it’s exactly what you’d expect.
There’s a lot to unpack here, so before we get started sharing some choice quotes from this book, let me give you a basic plot run down.
Kissing the Coronavirus 2: The Second Wave (a great title, might I add) follows Dr. Kelly Cauldron, an orthodontist who is now forced to administer vaccines. She works long hours, with unrealistic expectations, and her sex life is taking a hit because of it. That is, until something goes wrong when she gives the vaccine to a patient who already had received it.
If you’ve read Kissing the Coronavirus, you might be able to guess what happens after that. Only this time, the smut is with both the virus and the cure.
Now that you have an idea of what’s happening in this book, let’s talk about some of the lines I will need to go to therapy for:
Dr Kelly Cauldron sniffed the hotdog into her vagina, filling herself up with the fat sausage which she’d kept warm all morning in her thermos flask.
This is the first sentence. The first sentence.
A power so strong it could kill a killer. The vaccine.
I’m here for romanticizing the vaccine
In and out the hotdog went, her creamy pussy juices coating the hotdog like mayonnaise.
It’s not an M. J. Edwards book without scarring food metaphors, except this time the hotdog is literal and I want to cry
But it came at a price. The virus consumed him. Destroyed him. He was never seen again. And neither was Dr Ashingtonford.
Honestly, I genuinely enjoy the references to the first book. We love a good call back
As they pumped her gob full of pre-children, with their moans and groans,
I’m sorry full of what??
She was an orthodontist, for goodness sake, not a vaccine-giver! Yet when the government visited her orthodontist office and made her join the vaccination team, they told her she would go to prison if she refused – so what choice did she have?
I have so many questions about this world (but also, so glad that M. J. Edwards is once again supporting women in STEM. A queen supporting queens)
And with her unachievable targets came an unfulfilled sexual desire to have a stranger’s willy in her mouth via her car window.
I love a protagonist who knows what she wants
As she wiggled the hotdog within her passion groove,
“PASSION GROOVE”??? …I can never eat a hotdog again
The time she took three cocks in her mouth at once and accidentally dislocated her jaw.
Dr. Kelly really is a hard worker, you have to give her that
Sometimes, if she was lucky, whilst she chewed away at a foreskin like it was an undercooked piece of chicken skin,
Mom, pick me up, I’m scared
and slid two fingers into her uncooked mussel.
is anything safe?
but her lust for an orgasm was far more important than her lust for food.
I don’t know, based on these metaphors they seem a little too closely-linked
There was an angry woman yelling something about volcanoes.
I want to know more about this woman and whats going on in her life
And just to add to the stress, Dr Kelly had a hotdog lodged in her vagina.
I hope you didn’t forget about that hotdog because it’s not going away. No matter how much I really wished it did
The key to ending the pandemic and returning life to normal.
Calm down Dr. Kelly, don’t get too excited
Dr Kelly did a tappy-tap on the keyboard of her computer
we love a good tappy-tap
had made her so wet that if she got up from her seat she’d leave a slimy trail behind her, like a slug.
at this point I don’t even know how to process some of the things said in this book
‘Well, I’m a business traveller. I travel all over the place for business.’
Bill Johnso, business traveler extraordinaire
I was in NYC last week—that’s what we refer to New York as where I’m from
Thank you, Bill, for clarifying
She took his massive dick again as it whipped around like one of those inflatable men you see outside car showrooms.
This is the best line in this book and I will not accept criticism
And then, in what was the most erotically charged moment of Dr Kelly’s life, Cure lapped the still-warm hotdog right out of her vagina.
‘Mm,’ he grunted.
If I ever see a hotdog again I might cry
Suddenly the door burst open, and a bulky, chonky, thicc boi with a chiseled jaw, incredible bulges and a dick that measured up to Cure’s strode into the room.
This description is iconic. A fantastic entrance for Covid, the virus itself.
One green, one blue.
One good, one evil.
Both incredibly sexy.
‘She is mine,’ said Cure.
‘No,’ said Covid, his voice deep and gravelly. ‘I will fuck her.’
‘You will have to go through me first,’ said Cure.
There are probably some great jokes I can make here but honestly, at this point my brain has shut down to protect myself
He stroked it like it was a guinea pig, squeaking in pleasure as it erected.
Oh god why
plopped his cock into her gob, thrusting in and out so the tip of his cock practically nuzzled against her breakfast
nope. no thank you
Cure bent down and began lapping at Covid’s tongue, the two moist muscles combating one another like expert swordsmen
is this the new “their tongues battled for dominance”?
Cure began suckling at one of Covid’s protein spikes
I- I give up
Covid bust thick, creamy man-syrup inside Dr. Kelly’s private palace
I don’t even know where to begin with this sentence
Even the about the author is interesting:
Due to her husband’s infidelity, M.J. Edwards currently finds herself single and living with her grown son, Richard, who is only partly supportive of her latest career choice.
I’m so glad Richard is partly supportive. I would love to hear all of his thoughts on these books
And those are all the quotes I’ll be sharing today. There’s even more in the book, but I have to leave some of it for those of you who will be brave enough to read all 18 pages.
In the end, this book was exactly what I expected. It’s absolutely atrocious but in the best possible way.
And once again, please wear a mask and social distance!
Will you be reading this series? What’s the weirdest book you’ve read?